My GP abandoned me at a critical time – Very Long [VENT]
My last pregnancy ended at 20 weeks, well it was actually all over well before then as our baby had died in utero at approx 14.5-15 weeks, but we never found out until our 20 week scan. There was no medical reason given for why this had occurred, and there is no reason to suggest that it will happen again (Just one of those things) The specialist obstetrician at the hospital told me that we will be given special treatment next pregnancy in that we will be monitored a lot closer by having extra scans early in the pregnancy.
We are now pregnant again and we went for a dating scan at 6w6d, and want another scan at 10 weeks, 12 weeks, 15 weeks, 20 weeks and regular monitoring of baby's HB with a Doppler once that time comes. We have discussed this with the specialists several months ago and he has written a letter to me and my GP to confirm all this.
I have been seeing the same GP for over 3 years (except for the occasional time where I have needed an appointment ASAP and he has been booked out all week and I have seen other GP's at his clinic).
So... I went to see my GP on Monday to discuss my first pregnancy/dating scan and to get some advice about morning sickness and constipation. (I was close to requesting DH to take me to the hospital on Sunday night because of how ill I was feeling and backed up, but I decided on waiting for my appointment with my usually very caring GP the next day.
He seemed ok initially as I showed him the U/S picture of our precious little bundle. I told him that I want to have another scan in a few weeks for reassurance and I went on to tell him how I have been feeling very emotional lately and that I have been really sick. From that he snapped and started telling me that I am too high-risk and he does not want to advise me on anything and that I should be seeing an obstetrician and he is not qualified blah blah blah. I started to get upset and a bit worked up with the way my doctor was acting; he was clearly not on the same page as me. I explained to him that up until my first appointment with the hospital, I am not under the care of the obstetrician and need to be seen by a GP. He refused to work with me, and as I sit there in tears, knowing that I have no one else I can turn to right now and asking him "What am I doing here then" he could give me no answer. I asked him 3 times and still got no answer, and so I got up and walked out. I was so angry and upset. My DH stayed in the room with our GP as he was not happy leaving with nothing. DH requested a new referral to the hospital to get us in sooner. He discussed the tablets I am taking and for a GP who didn’t want to advise me of anything he seemed to have a bit to say about the tablets I was on.
I was sitting outside briefly but I couldn't sit still I needed to walk. I took the car keys back inside and asked the receptionist to give them to my DH when he comes out from the GP. I started to walk home. My DH caught up with me shortly after and I got into the car still crying. I couldn't believe the way my GP of 3 years was acting, I was in shock, I was confused, I was angry and I was upset. I was also scared because I didn't know who I could go to for advice and I was worried about the implications the stress I now find myself in will have on my precious baby.
After we got home and I calmed down a little, DH and I talked about it for a while. He told me what our GP said after I left. I'm pretty sure there is something more going on that he is not telling us about, be it a personal issue of his own or annoyed with the fact that I have seen a different GP in the clinic - I don't know. What I do know is that he is not being completely honest and upfront with me and my DH, even after everything we have been through with this GP in the past.
He contradicted everything he said to me, he told me he won't do anything for me because I am too high-risk. (Which I am not high-risk, just needing extra reassurance)
He told me he won’t do anything because I am meant to be under the care of a specialist obstetrician and if something does go wrong, it’s his job on the line. (I don't have my first "standard" appointment at the hospital until the 29th Oct and until that date, and even after that date, my GP is meant to look after me)
He told me that I shouldn't be going for a 10 week reassurance scan because I am at risk of picking up viruses from the hospital, and it costs extra money for extra scans and if he is questioned by the board about why he is sending me for extra scans - it's his job on the line. (Umm exposed to viruses at the hospital, well where does he think the obstetrician is? Oh that's right he said obstetricians in hospitals are in their own area and there is less risk in those areas, does that mean that the viruses stop at the door?
He told me that I am getting upset too easily and I am a major concern and showing signs of clinical anxiety and unstable mood. (Yeah right o and all this time I thought that emotions were exaggerated because of pregnancy hormones - apparently I am wrong)
So I have spoken with a midwife at the hospital yesterday and discussed with her the above situation. She was disgusted to say the least that my GP had acted in this way. She has told me to find another GP if I have to and get the U/S request form from them. She said with what I have been through previously I shouldn't have to go through the drama I have just to get a U/S request form and some advice on MS and constipation. I had a lengthy chat with this midwife, she was very understanding and gave me a sense of relief that someone from the hospital I plan to deliver is on the same page as I am.
Obviously that was not the end of it. I went back to the clinic where my usual GP works and explained to the receptionist that I was there on Monday to see my doctor but that he no longer wishes to see me as his patient. I explained to her that I am having a reassurance scan at 10 weeks and after speaking with the midwife from the hospital, I need a GP to do the request form.
You know what they did? They sat me down and said they would work it out for me. I assumed they were getting a different GP to do the form because of what happened on the Monday, but noooooo one of the reception ladies came out to the waiting room to get me after sitting for about a minute, she tells me to go to the end of the hall where I see my now ex GP standing, waiting for me. I considered turning around and walking straight back out again, but decided I was already to far down the hall.
As I walked in to his room, he knew I was not happy about being there. I wasn't rude, and I didn't want to make a scene. He started telling me that I had it all wrong, he apparently never meant that he doesn't want me as his patient blah blah blah. He tried telling me that I left before he had the chance to tell me about the referral that he was about to do. (Oh the one that my DH had to request, I thought) I didn't respond, I figure there was no point in arguing about it. I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. I told him about my phone call with the midwife and my request form for U/S needs to come from a GP.
He started talking to me about shared care. Do you know of this he asks? Yes I do. Well for me to do shared care, I need to be registered blah blah blah. I know all of this. I am not asking you for shared care, but at the moment I am not under any care, at the moment I am under the care of the pharmacist. Until my appointment on the 29th, that's the only person I can rely on. I could have gone on and on, but there was no point to it, it would have only stressed me out more and more.
"If you were my wife you would be booked in to see a private obstetrician" he says to me.
To that I replied "Not all of us are on doctors wages and can afford private health".
He started talking about how I am looking very upset etc I told him I was fine 30 minutes ago while I was chatting with the midwife on the phone. I am getting upset now because of what has happened, that is why I am getting upset, that is why I am starting to shake and that is why I want to hurry up and get out of here.
Shall I do the request form then he asks? (Yes, the one he told me on the Monday that he refuses to do because he didn't want to loose his medical license) Yes please. (So he filled it out without even confirming anything I told him about the conversation with the midwife) I will have copies sent to (name of the other GP I have seen on occasions) and I will have a chat to him and you can see him from now on.
So is it just me being upset, anxious and having an unstable mood as my doctor has worded it? Or is there a problem with my doctor?
My DH would never go to a doctor years ago, it was so hard to get him to go until we came across this doctor, but now, even DH refuses to go back to him. As he puts it, his bedside manners need a lot of work.
I have needed to vent this out of my system and I'm feeling so much better for doing so.
I just received a letter in the mail formally acknowledging that he is no longer my GP.
Oh my gosh - that is terrible! That GP is just so out of line! Big
I'm glad you are able to see someone else and that your hospital is supportive - If I were you I would be writing a letter of formal complaint to the clinic. Address it to the clinic manager and explain the entire situation. There is no excuse for his behaviour.
I don't know for sure, but I would be surprised if giving you a referral for a reassurance scan and helping you through your pregnancy until you are under the care of the hospital OB would put his medical registration at risk. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't what you requested part of his job!?
Well done you for getting what you needed and standing up for yourself
OMG you poor thing. I would be seeing a new GP quick smart...sounds like HE is the emotionally unstable one!! I can't believe he said that stuff to you...you lost a baby with no explanation (I have been through the exact same thing). I was a mess throughout the next pregnancy. It is HARD. Of course you want extra reassurance!! I am gobsmacked, frankly. My docs bent over backwards to give me as many scans/dopplers as I needed to keep sane. And hormones are real!
Your doc is the one with the problem for sure. Sounds like something has gone wrong for him in the past. I would praise the lord he is no longer your GP because you deserve better. Do you have any friends that can recommend a good GP in your area?
Grrr what an *&^ hole. Good luck with your pg, you don't need this extra stress right now thats for sure.
I couldn't read without replying . I don't know what to say. The way you were treated is disgusting and I would be making a complaint. No one deserves that.
The MW sounded lovely. Hoping your care improves
OMG i cant believe that what a doosh!!! He needs a good slap upside his head HUGS huni your not unstable i would have been in tears sitting there as well
My GP abandoned me at a critical time – Very Long [VENT]
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks